Saturday, January 17, 2015

Great Work Ethic or Jealous Mistress?

"Blessed"
(Train Girl Series)
9x11"
Pencil and pastel on tinted paper



Great Work Ethic or A Jealous Mistress?

Every morning I wake up hours before I have to leave for my 9 to 5 job. The alarm does not even go off. I awake, make coffee and fire up the airbrush for another daily 3 hour session at the easel. Each morning is an attempt to learn from yesterday morning's mistakes and I attempt the resolutions I have wrestled with in my mind the night before.

When I am on my way to work, on the train, I have my portable studio and I work on my drawing skills; working to sharpen my eye and hand. These little drawings, which now I have over 20 done, are called my "Train Girl" series. I also work on them on my afternoon commute as well. Without these exercises, I would feel horrible all day.

Like a shark I am constantly pushing myself, always moving and searching. I am never satisfied and I never want to "arrive". This, to me, would be a defeat. I never want to ever have a limit or ceiling to what I want to accomplish with my art. I am definitely not talking in monetary goals. I am speaking of artistic goals. To draw and paint better and better, to be able to reach a hurting world with a little beauty.

The question I ask myself sometimes is this; Am I hugely ambitious or is it a compulsion? Is this something that I have a choice to do, or is it involuntary, as the shark has to keep moving or die? Is art, to me, a jealous mistress, that does not allow other endeavours take her place or even come close? I know this, that any 9-5 job I had, always took a back seat to my art. Maybe that is not clear enough, my art was always the locomotive and the 9-5 jobs were the coals that allowed the locomotive to run.

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